By the Grace of God, I haven’t had a drink since August 12th, 2012. This is the longest I have been sober since I was 16 years old.
Drinking wasn’t always ugliness. It became ugly when it was the only thing that mattered. I lost sight of everything that was important to me. Alcohol was blocking out my family, my friends and all my relationships. I had so much hate. No love could get in or out.
The last straw in my drinking career was when my family had me arrested and put in jail for pushing my mother. I was so full of shame. I felt like dying. I was more than willing to spend the two years in jail, but my mother asked the D.A. to recommend I get some help. So they sent me to a rehab. Things started changing slowly, but I was still thinking I could somehow continue drinking without repercussions. I finally said to myself, “I’ve tried everything else. Why not try God?”
What really changed me was when I found out my brother passed away. God took my brother, and it made me open my eyes want to finally live... really live, and not just exist. I began to pray every day for God to take away my obsession for alcohol. I needed to get rid of all the self-pity and take ownership of what I had done. I needed ask the Lord for forgiveness from sin and freedom from shame so I could finally grow. I know the Lord Jesus Christ spilled His blood for me. He died on the cross to cleanse me of my sins because He loves me. I finally came to a place where I could stand up against devil’s lies that all I would ever be would be a drunk. I could finally believe in my heart that I am worthy of the Lord’s love. When I found the Christ and held Him in my heart, I finally found myself...the real me. I’m nothing short of a miracle because of the grace of God.
Today I’m following a dream I’ve had for many, many years. I’m studying to be a Veterinary Assistant and doing well. I now surround myself with people that are serious about their recovery, a family that deeply cares for me, and the Lord Jesus Christ Who has always loved me. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but today I welcome it. I’m here to tell you that I’m one of Gods little miracles and that sobriety is possible.